7 Tips That’ll Help You Focus On Yourself Rather Than On Other People
Guy Clennett
Everyone wants to live out their best life, but often, we get too caught up in people’s opinions. When you constantly compare yourself to others, life becomes a struggle, and it can really drag your self-esteem down.
Here’s a guide on how to stop worrying about what other people think of you and also, how you can focus on yourself. After all, life is short, and you should be happy with how it turns out.
1. Connect with your values
Perhaps the reason why you worry about what others think of you is that you don’t exactly know what you want, or that you’re afraid you’re doing something wrong. Ask yourself, who are you? What do you think you should be doing? Remember that, no matter what you do, there are going to be people out there who are going to criticise you, so you might as well do something that will make you truly happy.
2. You don’t have to stop being a people pleaser
Many people say that you should simply just stop thinking about others and what they want. Now, you and I know just how unhelpful that kind of advice is. Well, here’s the good news: if people pleasing is part of your nature, then all you have to do is direct that energy into a different area, like volunteering. Your time is better spent doing something you value.
3. Remember where your control lies
If there’s anything that you need to take from this article, it’s this: the only person that you can control is yourself. Often we feel like we should be able to change people’s opinions, but that is just not possible. Think of it this way, are you able to change your views on a particular person? Unless they do something drastic, they relatively stay the same. Even if they do something big to change your mind, it might not even be for the better. The sooner that you come to terms with that, the less you’ll have to worry.
4. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is all about focusing on the present moment, but what does that have to do with stopping yourself from worrying about what others think? Well, when you worry excessively like that, your mind becomes a prison of negative thoughts. Mindfulness is the get-out-of-jail-free card, an opportunity for you to feel self-acceptance, self-respect and self-love. There are plenty of apps to get you started if you’re a beginner. It can be difficult at first, but the benefits are worth it.
5. Think about it from their perspective
An interesting thinking exercise that you can do is put yourself in the shoes of the other person. In reality, how much do these people really think about you and what you do? This might sound harsh, but the people that you worry about probably don’t care all that much about what you do unless you harm or disrespect them in some way.
6. Consider constructive feedback
If you think your worry stems from the insecurities that you have, then see what you can change and improve on those areas. Remember, you don’t need to disregard people’s opinions completely; instead, figure out who’s important to you and ask what they think about your concerns. Talking to close friends and family can also dispel any worry that you may be experiencing.
7. Learn how to accept yourself
I understand that this is a big ask, especially if you’re a very self-conscious person. While it’s not an instantaneous process, it’s certainly worth the effort. When we worry about what people think, we attach our self-worth to their perception of us especially in this world. The only feeling that can come out of this is disappointment in yourself, for no good reason more often than not! Social media, in particular, is a breeding ground for self-doubt.
Even when you know that people on there will only show the best parts of their life, you can’t help but think that you should be more like them. Remember that no one is perfect, no matter what you may see. And yes, there’s always room for improvement, but take a moment and think about the bright side. It’s strange how we quickly forget to pay attention to the parts that we like about ourselves.
In a nutshell, it all comes down to acceptance. Accept that you can’t do anything about other people, and accept that you can exist for yourself. Allow them to think as they do, and you do you. Easier said than done, I know, but that’s why you need to take action and make a conscious effort to reduce your worry.
Even if you take baby steps, it all counts towards making you a happier person.
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